Go!

How  did I get here? I had it all figured out. I finally found what I had been missing. I saw so clearly. Heard undoubtedly what was said to me. I knew what I knew. But somehow, some way I find myself in territory that could be no more unfamiliar. Where did I miss You? When did I veer? Was the diverging that subtle that I my seeing eyes missed it? I’m so full of questions & only You have the answers.

Let’s start from the beginning. It started with one command and that was to, “Go”. And with no real questions  asked, I went. Led by the peace that flooded my heart, I was gone. Moved by the wind of your Spirit, Lord I went. I fought through steadily with the Words, Your Word that had gone out before me. I was on my way knowing that You would never leave nor forsake me. Your love secured me. Though the opinions and the opposition of “them” had me dodging, I rejected fear. Cloaked by the Promises of all that You had prepared for me. I was on a journey to the place you had prepared for me. Purpose. Pursuing swiftly the Peace that you instructed me to dress my feet with and to walk in, I pressed. Fighting pass the past that sought and continues to seek to grapple me. I pressed. The clouds began to part and the Son shone so brightly before me. He was in clear view. I felt unstoppable and I finally got that I really am more than a conqueror. I was well on my way. My trust in God was unshakable. I knew what I knew.  Heard undoubtedly what was said to me. I saw so clearly. I finally found what I had been missing. I had it all figured it. Or so I thought…

In the midst of my “going”, I found a lot of things going too…away from me. I had went and so did some of the people and things I had spent so much of myself to keep. Yet and still I pressed. Fighting with the only weapon I had ever really cared to use: Love. I loved and loved but still things went & went, until finally it was all appeared to be gone. I was left with my vision, my hope & my God.

I am here now. Left with only enough room to look to the One who has sent me. I am here now. Reminding myself that I must continue. I must Go.

–E

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